Divorce, where to begin? Going through a divorce will always be stressful, emotions are running high and if children are involved navigating co-parenting and possible custody issues can seem overwhelming. Most individuals have no idea  how to begin the process. Below is a guide to help you get started.

Where to start?

Communication is key:

The first thing anyone with the intention of filing for a divorce should do is to sit and have a conversation with their spouse, if possible of course. When possible, it is essential for the parties of a divorce to have a conversation regarding their expectations as to how assets and property should be divided, and in cases involving children what parenting time, custody and child support arrangement is preferred by each party. Having communication about expectations and possible areas of compromise will not only help the process run smoother, it can also save the parties money on their legal expenses.

Once you have had or attempted to have communication with your spouse about expectations the next step will be to schedule a legal consultation with a family law attorney. Having a consultation with an attorney is always beneficial. Family law attorney’s often provide legal consultations for little to no cost, this provides you with the ability to ask legal questions about the process such as:

• I’m I or my spouse entitled to spousal support or alimony?
• What are my options for division of property and assets ? 
• I’m I or my spouse entitled to each other’s retirement or pension?  
• What are my options for child custody, parenting time and support? 
• How long can the process take? 
• Based on my personal set of circumstances, how complex is my case?
• How much does the process cost? 
• How much will the attorney charge for the case? 

Attorney fees for a divorce case can be extremely expensive. Most attorney’s charge an hourly rate, meaning they charge by the hour for working on your case, this includes phone calls, emails, texting/messaging, preparation, drafting and filing of documents,court appearances as well as paralegal fees.

Taking advantage of a free or low cost consultation can also give you the information you need to decide if you should hire an attorney, hire a document preparer (LPD) or file for the divorce on your own.

If you decide that you would like to or need to hire an attorney it is wise to have more than one consultation, research your attorney and his/her firm and read reviews so you can com-prepare costs and choose the best attorney for you.

Filing for a divorce on your own: 

In many cases an attorney isn’t necessary to file for a divorce and you have the option of completing and filing the documents on your own or hiring a legal document preparer to assist. The benefit of completing and filing the documents on your own that you will only be responsible for the court fees. Hiring a legal document prepared is an additional expense however this service is beneficial by making sure the documents are completed and filed properly. It is important to note that a legal document preparer is only responsible for completing the documents with the information you provide. They will not be able to provide legal advice.

If you have decided to complete and file the documents on your own you will need to search for the instructions and documents provided by the court for the corresponding county you and/or your spouse currently live in.  It is important to read all the instructions provided. In cases for individuals that have recently moved, information about how long you have to have  been a resident in that county will be included in those instructions. The typical timeline for residency in a particular county for a family case is 6 months. Once you have located the court documents you will have to choose the correct forms to complete. Below are some options available:

• Divorce without children
• Divorce with children
• Consent decree (both parties agree and file together) 

Once you choose the forms that apply to your situation it is important to read the instructions carefully and follow them to the best of your ability. Make sure to contact the court with any questions you may have. 

The next step is to verify the court fees, you will need to have the fees available at the time of filing. You also need to verify the methods of payment the court accepts.  If you are unable to pay the court fees due to financial hardship, search the court forms for a waiver/deferral of court fees form;  courts often offer assistance for individuals without the means to pay for court fees. Read the forms and instructions carefully. If you qualify and the forms are completed and accepted the court may grant a waiver. A waiver of court fee means the court will not require you to pay any of the fees and will also extend assistance with the next step in the process that is known as service also for no cost. If you don’t qualify for a waiver the court may grant you a deferral of the fees. A deferral gives you additional time to come up with the funds to pay the fees without delaying the filing of your documents, essentially file now to pay later. 

I’ve filed my divorce paperwork. What’s next? 

One of the most common mistakes someone filing for their own divorce will make is forgetting there is one more step after the documents have been filed with the court. This step is called service. Service is the process of documenting proof that your spouse has received the documents you have filed for with the court so they may have the opportunity to respond properly and timely per the court’s requirements.

If you and your spouse have filed for a consent decree or have filed an agreement with your court with both signatures and have both paid your fees, service will not be required.

When reviewing the instructions on how to file for your divorce you will notice that the instructions lay out the number of copies you are required to have. The clerk at the filing counter will keep all originals of the forms you complete and will hand you back at least two copies. You will leave the courthouse with your copy and one for your spouse. This is where service of the documents is required to successfully complete the process of filing for a divorce.

The instructions for the forms will also outline the methods of service that are available to you and the forms. Service by process server is the most common, however hiring a process server comes at an additional cost. A  process server is certified in the county and state where he/she conducts business. A process server’s job is to identify the party being served and hand deliver a copy of the divorce filing to that party. The process server will then prepare the documents necessary to inform the court that service has been completed and file that with the court.

If you choose to hire a process server it is best to have a recent photo of your spouse, a home or work address, a description of their vehicle and the best times to find them at the provided address. This will help keep costs down by providing the process server with enough information to have service completed at the first attempt.

If your spouse is willing to sign the documents you can fill out the forms for acceptance of service and have your spouse sign for them in front of a notary and file that with the court. Remember to always read the instructions the court offers for each of the forms and don’t forget to file them by the deadlines provided.

If you do not not have an address or do not know the whereabouts of your spouse, it is wise to find the instructions and forms your court has available for a request for alternate service or service by publication. These instructions will outline the rules and qualifications of alternate service or service by publication and it is important that you read them carefully and meet their qualifications before you file the request with the court. If you do not meet the qualifications your request will be denied. 

Once service has been properly completed the ball is now in your spouse’s court and they will have to file a response with the court in the time frame outlined by the court. Your spouse’s response should also be provided to you, however service is not required for a response so often this does not happen. It is important that you keep up with the filings on the case so you don’t miss anything.  Once the court has received your spouse’s response the court will issue a court date, along with the instructions and forms required to go on to the next step.